


I Had To

by womanwhowritesformany



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Love, OFC - Freeform, Thomas Shelby - Freeform, stopping a wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24014683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanwhowritesformany/pseuds/womanwhowritesformany
Summary: The friendship between you and Thomas has always been close, friendly and sometimes way too much flirting.But, there had also been endless bickering.2,967 words
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Original Female Character(s), Tommy Shelby/Reader
Kudos: 45





	I Had To

The friendship between you and Thomas has always been close, friendly and sometimes way too much flirting.

But, there had also been endless bickering. You didn't work for him, you worked along with him. So, the two of you were always abound to disagree on many things that involved the business and simple things. When it came to flirting, it was always done in private, when the two of you were ever alone, that's when things heated up. Although you both never confessed any feelings to each other, you both thought that the other thought it was just a game to keep the peace. But even then, the Shelby family had always thought there was something between you two.

It was always the slick, smooth Tommy that had teased you. His passionate blue eyes staring you down from across the room, the tiny smirk that played upon his lips. Sometimes, a hand or two would find its way to touch you, leaving you with goosebumps. This was every time he was near and alone with you. His suit jacket always off, the collar of his white shirts always loose. It drove you crazy to see him like that.

When it was you flirting, or trying to flirt, you always joined him in his office after a long day in the middle of the night. Glasses of whiskey, cigarettes and millions of conversations flowed between you two. You kept him on edge, your dress of your skirts always hiking up your legs higher and higher each time you've spent your occasional nights in his office.

But last night. Oh had last night had been the night, the two of you had moved on from all the flirting and finally got together. Right on his office table, clothed and sweaty. Although that had finally happened, no feelings or words were spoken.

You wanted to so badly admit to him all the things you've felt for him, every time he walked into the room. All the times you watched him when he was angry, or at peace and even happy. He made your heart thump and your stomach flutter. But, it never happened. After the repeated euphoric moments of bliss throughout the night, things didn't end so well.

As both of you came to your highs, you had kissed one final time that night. Your legs were still wrapped around his waist, he was still in you and both of your mouths were practically breathing into each other as it ended sloppy, yet passionately.

Your eyes were closed, but you could feel him staring at you. He pushed away slightly, but still held onto your waist, his tight grip becoming lose. No words were spoken,

"Tommy, I have to speak to you about something."

He pushes away from you, pulling up his black pants and gathers the fallen papers off the floor and  
places them beside you. "Not now. Can you get up? I have to fix this mess, get everything in order again."

"Tommy?" He doesn't listen to you. Instead, he walks over to the whiskey and pours himself a cup and drinks away the liquid. "Tommy! Listen to me."

"What?" He turns around.

"I... I just need to speak with you." This was it, you ready to tell him how you felt. After what had just happened, you thought maybe your body, your touches and the stuff that came out of your mouth, would've done your feelings justice. But maybe his skull was too thick to understand what this all meant. "I need to say-"

"I said not now." He snaps. "Now come on, I have to do things."

"Thomas Shelby. Listen to me, I don't care about what you need to do. It's bloody dark outside, it's not work hours anymore-"

"I work whenever, I decide whenever. I'm the boss around here, I don't need this."

"You... Thomas. I'm just trying to-"

It's like he had no interest in you, or what you had to say anymore. You get dressed, put on your shoes and walk towards the door. "I've told you twice now, eh? Didn't I? I've got work to do."

"You're a prick, Tommy. All my life, I knew you were this... powerful man. But like this? The way you're acting towards me!"

"And you! Do the same things eh, don't you?"

You stood silent, tired of this bickering. It was like this all the time, but tonight? It had just been enough. It was different, it felt like he really didn't want anything to do with you. Why?

"I'm leaving." You say. "I need to leave." And you weren't just talking about right at this moment. You began thinking about leaving Birmingham.

"Go on then." He shakes his head, cigarette in his mouth. "Right there, the door. Go on."

You cry, but you don't let him see it. You call out some profanities at him, slamming the door behind, not planning to speak to him or even see him again.

Days later, Arthur Shelby had shown up to your home, pleading for you to talk to him about his brother. Although it took you some time to actually discuss things with him, you were busy packing up your home. Arthur was confused at first, thinking you probably found a better place to live. But that was until you told him you were up and leaving Birmingham to settle down in London. He was just left more confused and angry.

"Come on." Arthur sits down in your office chair, signaling for you to sit with him. "Tell me everything. I know you wanting a new change of environment isn't the truth, so go on."

"Arthur..." you sigh, sitting down opposite to him, in the chair you would usually have others sit. "I don't want to discuss things."

"You're not leaving without an explanation. This is your home, I'm your family. All of us is. To leave without saying any goodbyes, that would be fuckin' low of you, love."

"Alright!" You snap, sitting back in the chair. "I know it would be a terrible thing to do. You're all the closest people I've had all my life. Besides my mother. Listen, it's your damn, stubborn and powerful brother."

"Tommy, aye?" He smirks, smoking a cigarette without your permission, but you could care less at this point.

"We've been close, done many things together. Ran a business or two, late nights working. Few days ago he just snapped at me after... after we..."

"After ya what, huh?" He smirks again, his head nodding as he might knew what you were trying to say. He just wanted to hear it out loud.

"After we did it together. Late at night. He snapped at me and I snapped at him. He's so damn stubborn that man."

"Love, you should really work things out with him. I know my brother is a fuckin' handful, but if you just-"

"Arthur, you know I love you," you interrupted him. "and you know I love your family. But I just can't be here, knowing that he hates me. Knowing that everyday he suffers from our fights and everything."

Arthur stands up from his chair and sits down on the table, right in front of you.

"Aye, Y/N... Tommy boy has his own fuckin' ways of dealing what's inside his head. Even his own heart. Stick around, it'll be worth it all. We'll help him, fuckin... work out his sort."

"If I stay stay Arthur, how long will it be till he figures it out?"

"However long you take to tell him." He nods his heads as you squint at him. "Yeah, I know all about how you feel about my brother. We all do." He lets out a sigh. "You are both stubborn, that's why it works and that's why it doesn't. If you just talked-"

"I don't want to. I can't." You rejected his suggestion, as you wipe your eyes, not wanting to cry... again.

"Is that what you truly want?"

You nod your head, lost at words. Of course it wasn't, but you didn't know how to solve this. You didn't want to admit anything to Arthur or to Thomas. You were so afraid of heartbreak and that if you told him and he never felt the same way, things would drastically change.

"If this is what you want, running away... then okay. I'll be by your side too, just because I'm his brother doesn't make you any less of family."

"I would understand, though. If you were mad at me, never want to see me again."

"Oh I am mad at you, little one." Arthur shakes his head. "But that doesn't mean I'd push you away. None of us would."

"Tommy is."

"So are you." He stands up, and waits for you to follow him. "But listen. I'll help you with whatever you need to do."

"Thank you, Arthur. Thank you." 

As soon as you step on the train steps a few days later, you hear your name being called out. You hold on to the silver poles beside you and look for the person who called your name. Once the platform clears, you see a breathless Thomas, ten feet away from you. His mouth hangs open, his eyes are almost hopeless. You haven't seen him in days. This was probably going to be the last time you've ever seen him and the first time you've ever seen him so... so confused.

You both stay silent, as you were hoping he'd call your name again, or say he does have feelings for you.

But there was nothing.

You bite your red colored lip to hold in the tears and stare at him. Suddenly, the train's horn blasted throughout the station, and one of the men that worked on the train had started to push you and the others inside, so he could jump in and close the doors.

You sat by the window, as cliche as it sounds, and stated out at him. "Damn Tommy." You say to yourself, as the train begins pulling away slowly, you see him walk away, his hat back on. 

A year later, you reside in London. It took you awhile to get acquainted, but with help from the Shelby Brothers (you had questioned if Thomas had anything to do with that help too) and Ada and Polly, everything was settled. Business, home and even social life had been easy to figure out. Within that year, everything had felt quick, non stop and refreshing.

You had met a man one night, who swooped you off your feet both literally and figuratively. Falling in love was something you always thought you'd have your heart reserved for Tommy. But it looked liked it needed to move on.

Back in Birmingham, the Shelby's finally received their individual wedding invitations to your church wedding. Everyone, but Tommy. You couldn't, or else something terrible would happen, or you would have doubts fill your head. You were sure that he had to find out eventually through Arthur and his big mouth. Everyday you spent thinking about him, hoping he never settled down either. 

Months later, you were finally in one of the church's room, standing in your wedding dress. Alone. You look at your hair all up and slicked back with swirls and pieces of hair curled down by the sides of your cheeks. It had scared you that you were getting married to a man you've know for a few months, but it excited you to be loved by someone. Someone so nice, different and yet so beautiful. As you watched yourself in the mirror, you began wondering if this was the right thing to do.

Instead of breaking down, you inhaled and exhaled slowly. Just get on with it. You love him. This is your wedding.

When you walked on the cream colored carpet that covered the church's wooden floor, which led to the altar, you felt overwhelmed by everyone's stares. The Shelby's were there, it made you happy that you still had their support no matter what. But it had also saddened you and broke your heart that this shouldn't have been happening - not without Tommy here.

After you reached the alter, your significant other had been saying his vows. It made you blush that someone had been loving you, and is speaking vow. It made you feel almost complete... but still it didn't feel right.!

"Y/N, with this undying love for you from me, I will do nothing but cherish you and keep our love alive..."

Before he could continue to speak, and before you ever got the chance to speak your vows, the wooden church doors slam open, revealing the light from the outside. Turning your head, you stare at the light and watch a black figure walk in. Your heart gets that familiar thumping and the fluttering in your stomach begins to make you shiver. It was him.

Thomas Shelby had interrupted the wedding. He walked down the aisle, eyeing down his family that sits a couple of rows back. He then reaches the two little steps that you were just right at the top of, with your fiancé.

"Thomas..." you whisper.

"Who is that?" Your finance questions, taking a step toward.

"How rude of you not to invite me. My own family, but not me, eh?" Thomas eyes you down, hands tucked behind his back, holding his hat. "Am I not family to you?!"

"Thomas Shelby!"

"Listen to me." He snaps.

"Who do you think you are, to come in here and-"

He interrupts your yelling, "Y/N! You shouldn't be here, neither should they. Not like this."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, come. Back home, where you belong. Not here with the all high and mighty. This isn't your home."

"I..."

He steps closer, grabbing your hand as he ignores your fiancé by your side. His thumb sweeps your cheek, tears beginning to fall down. A few seconds go by and you step away from Tommy. Looking away form him, you stare at your dumbfounded fiancé.

"I... I'm so sorry." You say to him, then running off away from the altar. You hear gasps and shouts from everyone in the small ceremony in the church, but it makes you even more motivated to get away from everyone in the room.

Scurrying out of the church, in your wedding dress, people stare as they watch you run.

After hours of looking for you, Thomas had found you at your home with the help of Ada. Your fiancé never showed up, as he called to say he would give you space until you knew what you wanted.

Thomas and you had sat in silence, on the wooden floor, against your couch. Your wedding dress was off, leaving you in your undergarments and a silky black robe. He listened to your cries, as his heart was pounding against his chest. He didn't know what took him so long to come to terms that he has been in love with you for years, but was too stubborn to say or do anything about it. So he turned to what he knew best; being the man everyone knew he was.

You break the silence, but never look to him. "Why? Why'd you walk in today? Interrupted everything."

"I had to... I had to come. Today, out of all days. He says, taking one of your hands. "I never meant to take this long."

"To come to me? To talk to me? To fuckin' bicker with me again? That's why I also left."

"Because of me?" He questions, his voice got louder.

"Yes because of you!" You snapped. "There are many reasons, this is one of them."

"Listen, yeah?" He softens his eyes as you roll yours. "I've fallen in love with you every fucking day of my life since we met. I had to come today, or else I would've never gotten another chance. Before I went off to war, after it all. Arthur was right, everyone was."

"Right about what?" You asks, looking up into his eyes.

"About my heart. About you."

"I just.. I never knew you've felt that."

"It took me a really long time." He admits. "Took you quite the fuckin' journey too, eh? A wedding? A fuckin' wedding... what were you thinking."

"I wasn't." You clutch onto his wrists. "Everything, all of this.. if I had just told you how I felt long ago that night in your office. Maybe things would've been different."

"Things can be different now, right?" He asks, pulling away and grabbing your cheeks. "I've wanted you, you've wanted me. Let's get back to where you belong, eh?"

"I've heard you got a new home. Outside of Birmingham."

"It could be ours."

You nod your head, leaning your face into his neck. His grabs a hold of you, licking you up off the ground and placing you into his lap. Silence filled the air, until he grabbed you by the neck and pulled you in for a kiss. Your heart was beating so fast, as your mind became clear on what you wanted. You wanted Tommy, that's all you've ever wanted.

This is how it should be, always.

You look up into his blue round eyes and breathe out. None of you said a word, instead you had looked at each other for a moment, before he had helped you upstairs, to begin the next journey of your life; packing up and to leave London. 

-


End file.
